Nigerian Recollections
Author:
Donal O'Mahony
[Excerpt] November 1958 saw me winging my way out to darkest Africa in the first class luxury of a Stratocruiser and enjoying caviar and smoked salmon downed with copious quaffs of Dom Perignon to while away the time.
Daylight was breaking as we touched down at Kano in Northern Nigeria to be welcomed on the tarmac by a turbaned Hausa-man astride his camel emitting welcoming trumpet blasts that would have done justice to Harry James. (Apparently this was a custom from earlier ages to welcome back caravan trains carrying salt from East Africa!) At Lagos I was more than happy to be relieved of the bedlam of immigration, customs, baggage handlers, taxis, etc through the skills and surreptitious â??dashâ?? of our local Admin team who whisked me away to my new home. (I often wonder if some of my fellow passengers could still be out there at grips with officialdom and lost baggage).
He answered to the name Johnson, but not very often, and certainly not when his services were demanded. His place of employment was outside the door of my air-conditioned executive office and his furnishings comprised a well-used, bare, shaky, wooden chair. He was a lumbering lad in his late teens who whiled his life away seated in deep meditation oblivious to all around him and more particularly to any requests for his coffee procurement services that I might infrequently make. To put an end to his permanent state of suspended animation I thought up a plan to stimulate his mental function. I pointed out to him that he should be studying something useful to better himself and perhaps engineering was an answer. I explained my stratagem to our civil engineering director and arranged for Johnson to be given a lofty tome on the subject to while away his sedentary time in a more profitable manner. The days and months went by up to my leaving in 1964 while he continued to be deeply engrossed in the first tow pages of the preamble, much to my amusement.
The Biafran civil war was at its height when I returned to Lagos on a site visit. As the BOAC 707 came to rest on the apron, the presence of gun-toting military brought home the perils of these times. We disembarked in fear and apprehension and in single file started making our way silently to the terminal not daring to look to left or right. It was then I spotted a resplendent uniformed official making his way purposefully towards us. Stopping right beside me and exuding a broad beam, he welcomed me back to Nigeria and, to my utter amazement, I realised that it was Johnson. After the customary rubbing of noses etc. I proceeded to congratulate him on attaining a baggage handling job with the national airline. You can imagine my utter astonishment when he informed me that he was now an aircraft maintenance engineer thanks to his earlier engineering studies! After wishing him well on his achievement I sought his assurance that neither he nor any of his fellow â??engineersâ?? should lay their hands next or near the plane I had just come out on since I had to go back on it! I suppose on reflection if I had managed to make it with my studies there was no reason why he shouldnâ??t have.
The military barracks in Apapa was served by an expatriate army chaplain and Sunday masses were open to all of the faith. His sermons were rather lengthy and somewhat disjointed and it usually took him ages to get his flow together and get to the point. On one occasion he lost his train of thought completely due to the incessant wailing of an unfortunate child. Stopping in mid-tracks he glared down at the embarrassed parent and ordered him to remove the â??reluctant christianâ?? from his church. The parent in question was a junior officer in the Nigerian Navy called Joe Wey and I was to get to know him through his association with the local football association. I remarked to him on one occasion how lucky he was to be a Nigerian since his expatriate superior officer in the navy would be â??Nigerianisedâ?? in due course leaving him to head up the fleet as commander of its one naval craft (a fishery protection ship). The likelihood of this had never crossed his mind, not did he feel that it was remotely possible. However on a Sunday morning during my trip back to Lagos in 1966 I decided to call on Joe and remind him of my prediction. Driving up to his house in Ikoyi, I presented myself to the heavily armed sentries on duty and explained that I wished to see the Admiral. After various checks and searches I was permitted to drive up to the stately residence to be greeted like a long-lost friend by himself. his status as triumverate leader with General Gowan and Police Chief Louis Edet ruling Nigeria was a far cry from his earlier status. On his command, a batmen produced a case of Guinness and bottles of champagne and we quaffed Black Velvets as an appropriate libation for his Irish guest. It was hard to believe the country was in the throes of a bloody civil war and I was sitting back chatting of old times to one of its leaders.
Oil was just beginning to make an impact in the Eastern Region at that time and we had useful contracts setting up exploration sites in the vast crocodile and snake-infested inaccessible parts of the surrounding creeks. I was sent off there on a familiarisation trip soon after arriving in Nigeria and stopped off at Port Harcourt.
1960 saw the emergence of an independent Nigeria with much joyful and peaceful celebration and an influx of new diplomatic missions. Ireland was not to be left out and appointed Eamonn Kennedy as its first ambassador. He was accompanied by his wife, Jannie, who once featured on a Lagos TV programme showing how the accomplished hostess can produce exciting offerings for her dinner party guests. Her chosen speciality was Gaelic Coffee. Skillfully she got to work and soon had artistically produced a most perfect Gaelic Coffee which the interviewer held up to the black and white TV camera pointing out for the benefit of her viewers its beautiful black and white colour contrast. She then proceeded to give it a good vigorous stirring before gulping the lot down. It is not known if this heresy has been perpetuated at any subsequent state occasions or tribal dinner parties.
A letter arrived from a nun in Cork asking whether I could put up a young Irishman for a few weeks on his way home from South Africa. In due course he arrived and it turned out to be Tony Oâ??Reilly on his way back from a tour down there. He and his playing mate, Andy Mulligan, had set up a company called Ireland International which aimed to sell anything Irish from and Tony was trying his luck and charm to swamp Nigeria with any such goodies. Since the country was not yet ready for these products his visit was none too profitable but he enjoyed his stay and was brilliant company.
I also had a visit from the first Irish Trade Mission anxious to get an early share of what was going on in this part of the world. One of the hopefuls was an exporter of fireplaces but the native villagers were not too enthusiastic with such home improvements at that time. Another aspirant was hoping to flood the country with prefabricated pigsties. Much to my surprise I believe he had some success in Northern Nigeria which, although predominantly Moslem, was a big pig producer at that time. The leader of the mission was Eric Sweetnam from Coras Trachtala who, on his return, called on my mother in Dublin. Announcing himself as just back from a â??missionâ?? to Nigeria she proceeded to enquire of him how he had got on with his conversion out there and if she could contribute in any way to the cause of black babies ...
Accountancy Ireland Vol 33 No 5 October 2001